Joseph – A Model of Forgiveness
| January 15, 2016 | Posted by Pastor Viju Mathai under Articles, General, Sermons |
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Pastor Viju Mathai
Latest posts by Pastor Viju Mathai (see all)
- Discernment vs. Judgment – V (God’s Guidelines for Discerning) - April 4, 2016
- Discernment vs. Judgment -IV (How do we Discern) - April 4, 2016
- Discernment vs. Judgment -III (Diakrino, Dokimazo) - April 4, 2016
Genesis 50:20-21 (After Jacob Died)… 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.
Leviticus 19:18… “‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.
Romans 13:7-10 (Love Fulfills the Law)… 7 Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. 8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8… Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
Forgiving is hard but it is essential to our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.
C. S. Lewis was right when he said, “We all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.”
Joseph – a type of Jesus
- He is a Type of Jesus: Joseph’s story is similar to the story of Jesus
- Beloved of the Father: Loved by the father
- Sent by the Father
- Misunderstood, Rejected, Hated and mistreated by the brothers
- Conspired against; Stripped of their garments
- Sold for few pieces of silver
- Everything was put in their trust prospered: Trustworthy and wise
- Their own brothers did not recognize him
- Tempted but did not sin
- Falsely accused and charged: Upright yet bound and condemned
- Savior: God planned their suffering in advance to save many
- Remembered by God
- Exalted by God: All knees will bow
Genesis 37:5-11… 5 Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. 6 He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: 7 We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.” 8 His brothers said to him, “Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said. 9 Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. “Listen,” he said, “I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.” 10 When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, “What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?” 11 His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind.
Ungodly alliances are based on demands of our flesh!! Not godly fellowship and love
Ungodly alliances bring out ungodly council
Psalms 1:1… Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,
Genesis 37:19-28… 19 “Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. 20 “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams (Your dreams will be attacked).” 21 When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. “Let’s not take his life,” he said. 22 “Don’t shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the wilderness, but don’t lay a hand on him.” Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father. 23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe (your anointing will be attacked) —the ornate robe he was wearing— 24 and they took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no water in it. 25 As they sat down to eat their meal (they still had an appitite), they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were loaded with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were on their way to take them down to Egypt. 26 Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.” His brothers agreed. 28 So when the Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt.
Ungodly alliances bring out ungodly actions
Hatred and animosity out of jealousy
- Joseph’s brothers developed an intense hatred towards him
- Their father actually contributed towards this behavior by showing Favoritism
- Favoritism –> Hurt Feelings –> Grudge –> Hatred –> rash action
- Animosity –> Revenge –> Heaviness –> Un-forgiveness
- Praising God, Love, Hope
- Joseph had no time for heaviness or bitterness
- Forgiving others who has offended or hurt us
- God can accomplish his purposes in us in spite of what has happened in our past
- God can change the harm into good
- Joseph did not harbor any bitterness against his brothers
- He did not walk around with a heaviness in his heart.
Joseph could have dwelled in hurt, spite and agony and had every right to payback if his situation changes. ..but he did not!!
Only when we get beyond our fears and hurts and pain can we see the invisible hand of God working on our behalf
Genesis 42:6-9… Now Joseph was the governor of the land, the person who sold grain to all its people. So when Joseph’s brothers arrived, they bowed down to him with their faces to the ground. As soon as Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them. “Where do you come from?” he asked. “From the land of Canaan,” they replied, “to buy food.” Although Joseph recognized his brothers, they did not recognize him. Then he remembered his dreams about them and said to them, “You are spies! You have come to see where our land is unprotected.”
When Joseph met his brothers he remembered God’s purpose rather than man’s actions. I am more excited to tell you what God did to me rather than what you did to me.
Genesis 45:1-15… 1 Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh’s household heard about it. 3 Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence. 4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! 5 And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. 6 For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. 7 But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. 8 “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. 9 Now hurry back to my father and say to him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don’t delay. 10 You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me—you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have. 11 I will provide for you there, because five years of famine are still to come. Otherwise you and your household and all who belong to you will become destitute.’ 12 “You can see for yourselves, and so can my brother Benjamin, that it is really I who am speaking to you. 13 Tell my father about all the honor accorded me in Egypt and about everything you have seen. And bring my father down here quickly.” 14 Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. 15 And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him.
Genesis 50:15-21 (After Jacob Died)… 15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” 16 So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: 17 ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept. 18 His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said. 19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.
- Joseph looked at life from the perspective of what God was going to do in his life rather than dwell on what others had done against him.
- He was excited by what was coming rather than being dejected by what has been done
Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time. Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being. Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life As you let go of grudges, you’ll no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.
Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness
Many struggle with getting beyond the guilt of the past
- Suffering and betrayal: Getting beyond what others have done. Getting beyond what they have done to others
- Heaviness: Develop a heavy heart. Suffering, Betrayal, Delay, confusion will lead to a heavy heart
- Bitterness: develop a bitter spirit. A heavy heart will lead us to bitterness
- Un forgiveness: can’t let go of their own past
- Grumbling against God and man
- We become a thankless constantly grumbling bunch like the Israelites
It is easy to hold a grudge:
When someone you care about hurts you, you might sad or confused,
- Angry, resentful, grudging, spiteful heart, resentment, hostile, negativity, bitterness, aggression, revengeful: If we hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge, there is a high price to pay. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges and resentment, we become vengeful and hostile. Slowly but surely negative feelings crowd in, and we find ourselves swallowed up by bitterness or sense of injustice.
- Sustaining a grudge takes a toll: This loop of Negativity & Anger — generates a steady stream of Hostility and Aggression (active or passive) — causing physical, emotional, mental and spiritual distress.
- Stuck in time: Grudges make people stuck in time, unable to move forward, constantly in a state of mental and emotional distress.
- Creates and dwells in unholy alliances based on negativity rather than the will, purpose and glory of God.
- I want to teach him a lesson: The hope for the grudge-holder is that the grudge will be a demonstration of anger — and that the length and intensity of the grudge will in some way teach the supposed offender that they were wrong, and will break them. So, in hoping to teach a lesson to the person or people, the grudge-holder actually creates their own environment of stress and negativity to dwell in while the others generally aim to move forward with their lives.
- Is it really worth it to hold a grudge (stuck; can’t get out)? It’s important to reiterate that people who hold grudges have trouble moving forward and become emotionally and mentally stuck. The reality is that people who tend to hold grudges don’t often know how to move forward. In their lives, the process has usually become stuck in the anger, and they never learned (or were taught) how to move forward from that point. Grudges: Who Really Suffers? In the end, there are no winners when a grudge is held. Everyone involved loses.
- The Consequences of Holding Grudges. What are the effects of holding a grudge?
- Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience.
- Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present
- Become depressed or anxious
- Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you’re at odds with your spiritual beliefs
- Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others
“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” – Malachy McCourt
“To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.” – William H. Walton.
“A life lived without forgiveness is a prison.” ― William Arthur Ward
Or on the other hand we can embrace forgiveness and move forward. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy.
Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.”
Receiving end of a grudge: Sometimes we can be on the receiving end of a grudge? It’s not an easy place to be in. Generally when someone has a grudge against you, anger, blame, contempt, and other forms of hostility and aggression are being projected. Often, grudges are done in silence (passive-aggressive). For some people, being on the receiving end can be a stressful position to be in, especially if what people think of them tends to be a worry. Some people, however, are just able to move on living their lives and let go of people who tend to hold grudges towards them.
How do I reach a state of forgiveness?
- Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change.
- Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.
- The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life.
- Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act.
- Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.
Guidelines for Recovery and Renewal (Isaiah 58:1–12)
Inescapable and Painful Realities of Humanity:
Peggy Noonan – Wall street journal – ‘Everybody’s Been Shot’ http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB122417292859540971
There’s a small but telling scene in Ridley Scott’s “Black Hawk Down” that contains some dialogue that reverberates, at least for me. The movie, as you know, is about the Battle of the Bakara Market in Mogadishu, Somalia, in October 1993. In the scene, the actor Tom Sizemore, playing your basic tough-guy U.S. Army Ranger colonel, is in charge of a small convoy of humvees trying to make its way back to base under heavy gun and rocket fire. The colonel stops the convoy, takes in some wounded, tears a dead driver out of a driver’s seat, and barks at a bleeding sergeant who’s standing in shock nearby:
Colonel: Get into that truck and drive.
Sergeant: But I’m shot, Colonel.
Colonel: Everybody’s shot, get in and drive.
“Everybody’s shot.” Those are great metaphoric words.
It means everyone takes hits. Everyone gets tagged, life isn’t easy for anyone, we have lot of anger that has not been resolved and our families suffer because of it. Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your parenting skills, your colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance. All of us live with a double-edged truth: we have suffered wounds from our families, and we have inflicted wounds upon them. But these deep cuts need not be fatal to those relationships, not if we apply four principles of divine truth.
1. We are all imperfect and have these two in common
- We have done wrongful things to other in our unguarded moments by our speech or actions
- Hurtful things has been done to us.
2. We cannot change our past – it is set and we dare not make it light of that
“When you forgive, you in no way change the past–but you sure do change the future.”
3. Guilt of the past: We are not responsible for another’s wrongdoings.
4. We are personally responsible for our own wrongs
Isaiah 58:1-14… 1. “Shout it aloud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet. Declare to my people their rebellion and to the descendants of Jacob their sins. 2 For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God. They ask me for just decisions and seem eager for God to come near them. 3 “Why have we fasted,’ they say, ‘and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you have not noticed?’ “Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please and exploit all your workers. 4 Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high. 5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord? 6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter— when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? 8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. “If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, 10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. 11 The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings. 13 “If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, 14 then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.” For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.
The Lord, through the mouthpiece of Isaiah, instructs us to put away empty religiosity (Isaiah 58:1–5). When sin infects our lives, God knows our pious exercises of religion are mere lip service. The nation of Judah looked righteous, but their hearts were twisted. Their fasts were only a means to receive God’s blessings. A true fast — one that recognizes spiritual poverty — would have led to forgiveness of sin and the restoration of a relationship with God (58:6).
Hollow religious motions may fool others, but they never fool God and they never lead to the healing of broken relationships. For that, we must commit ourselves to true obedience as laid out in the bible.
1. Humble Ourselves (He gives grace to the humble): when we want to come to terms with the guilt and shame of our past and how we’ve hurt others, we must humble ourselves (58:7– 8). This is difficult because humility means counting ourselves as nothing before God and as secondary to the one we’ve wronged.
2. Pray: we must pray (58:9). We cannot really pray and be proud at the same time. True prayer is an act of humility. Bowing our heads brings our heart to its knees in recognition that our needs and sins can only be addressed by God.
3. Remove the yoke: accepting our faults, relinquishing hostility & aggression, refrain from playing the blame game, finger pointing & back stabbing, cleaning up our attitude. Time to give up our rights. Playing the blame game plunges us into the ever-swirling vortex of irresponsibility. Finger-pointing begets finger-pointing, until, eventually, we find ourselves trapped in a vicious cycle of “it’s never my fault,” which is a lie. We are often at fault for the hurt in another’s life. For the follower of Christ, we must break free from immature attitudes of irresponsibility
4. We must make ourselves available and vulnerable to the persons we’ve offended (58:10–11): All the other steps lead to this one. Now it’s time for us to cross the threshold and make right our wrongs. This step will test our humility, because it requires us to confess and to ask for forgiveness.
5. We must trust God to bring changes (58:12): There is no guarantee that our confessions will lead to restoration of relationships, but confession gives God an opportunity to work in our hearts and the hearts of the offended, so that which was broken has the ability to be restored. God can remove our guilt and shame and heal the other person’s brokenness. God can turn enemies into allies.
First, freedom is found in following the truth. As Jesus said, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine” (John 8:31). If we are living according to the Word of God, then we will come to know the freeing power of truth (John 8:32). And the first truth we must grasp is the truth of who we are.
Second, freedom is found in dealing appropriately with anger. Families can be irritating. And the easiest people to become angry with are the people living under our own roof. Sometimes anger is appropriate, especially if we’re dealing with issues of sin and righteousness (2:13–16). But we dare not let anger fester into bitterness, which is a sign that anger is controlling us. When we lose control over anger, the Devil has an opportunity to lead us to commit other sins.
Third, freedom is found in being honest. Christians are especially good at hiding behind a facade of piety, of “faking it,” when in truth we are not delighting or abiding in God’s Word. We are also good at justifying our anger. However, we’re called to complete honesty—“not to hide [ourselves] from [our] own esh,” as Isaiah put it (Isaiah 58:7). When we are honest with God, honest with ourselves, and honest with others, bonds are loosened, and “the oppressed go free” (58:6). Rather than blaming others, we take responsibility for our actions and attitudes. Honesty shines forth the light of truth, leading to a speedy recovery (58:8).
Fourth, freedom is found in asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness is one of the most dif cult aspects of the Christian life. Forgiveness requires us to be honest with ourselves about the truth of Scripture—that we are often wrong and must own up to our shortcomings. It also requires us to put aside anger and put on humility.
What, if anything, do you need to do to apply this Scripture to your life? If you need to make a confession and ask forgiveness from someone you’ve wronged in your family, what will you say? Plan a time to ask this person’s forgiveness.
Jesus paid the debt we owed on the cross.
A perfect model of forgiveness. He has released us
Colossians 2:13-15… 13 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. 15 And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.
Releasing others of their debts
Matthew 18:28-30… 28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ 30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
Matthew 18:32-35… 32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Mathew 6:12… And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Ephesians 4:31 – 5:2… 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Being indebted to one another in Love
Romans 13:7-10 (Love Fulfills the Law)… 7 Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. 8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
“Leave no debt unpaid except the standing debt of mutual love” (Weymouth). Thus Christians should always feel “Indebted To Love”.
Love is a debt which can, never be discharged. We should feel that we owe this to all men; and though by acts of kindness we may be constantly discharging it, yet we should feel that it can never be fully met while there is opportunity to do good.
Blessed are the peacemakers
Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
James 3:18... Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
Leviticus 19:18… “‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.
Matthew 5:23-24… 23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.